"We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up."
This passage is connected along the same line of thought with the last passage I shared about (Romans 14:7-8)
Paul is writing to Roman believers who found themselves at odds regarding eating certain foods. Those who were weak in faith likely still had their consciences bound by Jewish law and wanted to be careful not to eat foods potentially offered to idols (meat), whereas the strong in faith had freedom in their conscience to eat whatever they pleased since idols were false gods to begin with.
Paul however warned the strong in faith against allowing their own freedom to eat to become a stumbling block to those who are weak in faith. He wrote, "For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died... It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble." (Romans 14:15, 21)
So from this we can gather that in regard to any particular issue, the freedom of a believer stronger in faith must always be circumscribed by love for their weaker brethren.
If Paul had ended his exhortation there, we may conclude that all that is practically needed is for the strong in faith to avoid exercising their freedoms the presence of the weaker, and that would be that. Left on its own, one could see the community potentially devolve into the strong separating themselves from the weak.
But Paul wasn't done.
He explicitly states that the "strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and to not please ourselves." He calls the strong in faith to "please his neighbor for his good, to build him up." What does this mean practically?
It means that the strong in faith literally "owe" it to the weak in faith to "carry/take up" their weakness in faith/conscience.
It means that the strong cannot separate themselves from the weak- they must walk closely enough to lift the weak mental/conscience burden of weaker believers so as to ultimately build him up in faith. This is in line with what Paul writes elsewhere "Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2)
We live in a society where "survival of the fittest" is assumed to be how the world works (be it in biology, socio-politico-economically), and in a culture where one's individual freedom to determine and express their individuality is of utmost importance (aka "Expressive Individualism"). "You do you, and don't let anyone/anything get in your way".
Even as those redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ, our own sinful nature still clings to us and deceives us to prefer pleasing ourselves. But brothers and sisters- we've been redeemed to live like Christ- we are free by the power of the Holy Spirit to choose to love deeply, to sacrificially bear one another's real burdens with the other person's good in mind, for their edification and growth in the Lord. As we learn to walk together with one another in this way, may we remember how our Lord did not please himself, but through the cross carried the reproach/condemnation we deserved (Rom. 15:3).
I want to leave you with a final thought. I think it's easy for us to read such an exhortation and subconsciously assume that we are in the position of the strong believer. However, even as I share these meditations as your elder, I acknowledge that there are (and will continue to be) ways in which I am weak and will need to be born up by others as much as anyone else. On this side of heaven, we will always have stronger and weaker consciences in different ways regarding different issues. The likelihood of the weak in faith of the Roman church being Jews (who were familiar with God's law) versus the strong being the Gentiles is just an example of how even our own culture/upbringing can influence our faith/consciences. May the Lord grow us in humility and love as we seek to honor Him together.
Grace and Peace,
Mike